Lari dari realita

img_7511Minggu pagi. Gue selalu punya alasan untuk kabur dari realita setiap minggu pagi. Ya, Secangkir teh dan sandwich lagi lagi cuma alasan belaka untuk kembali lagi melakukan ritual ini. Karena memang sedikit waktu ini, buat gue sadar kalo gue butuh sendiri untuk healing dari semua hal yang terjadi. Keuangan, keluarga dan bahkan masalah perasaan yang gue alami, butuh penyembuhan sendiri di waktu seperti ini.

Berapa bulan terakhir ini, gue mulai sadar kadang suatu kebohongan itu sangat amat nyakitin. Apalagi, kalau kita baru sadar setelah sekian waktu berjalan. Kenapa mesti berbohong kalau memang masih bisa jujur? kita, pihak yang terbohongi selalu berfikir demikian. Akan tetapi, pasti saja sang pembohong selalu punya alasan tersendiri untuk berbohong. Akan tetapi, mereka ga pernah sadar, kebohongan demi kebohongan yang mereka lakukan, perlahan membuat diri mereka menjadi suatu momok besar untuk diri mereka sendiri. Disamping kebencian dan kesedihan, gue malah kuatir akan orang tersebut. Apa mereka sadar, bahwa mereka membangun suatu kegelapan di salam diri mereka, dan apakah mereka ga lelah akan semua kebohongan tersebut?

Karena buat gue sndiri, berbohong itu suatu yang melelahkan…. dan kita pasti merasa di hantui oleh perasaan bersalah terus menerus. Tapi yah, buat apa juga sih kalau di pikir pikir mikirin apa yang di rasain orang tersebut. wong rasanya mereka itu, orang orang yang menikmati berbohong menganggap ini suatu yang lumrah dan menyenagkan, bukan?

then i jump alone ..

If there’s one thing I’ve learned in the last few months, it’s that sometimes you just have to close your eyes and jump.

But….the fact, the dream that we living in is not that easy. Even you tried to closed your eyes, the pain is there. And even you jump, the shadow is keep huging you and its makes you scared.

What did i do? why the things is so mess right now….. ‘?’

when someone really love you

They’re not afraid of saying they love you, the minute it overcomes them to say so. And whether it’s the first or thousandth (or ten thousandth) time it’s been said, no matter if it’s a shout or a whisper, it still sounds honest and sincere and like there’s no one else they’d ever rather say it to.

forgive my own self

Accept yourself and your flaws.
Know that despite your flaws, you are okay as you are. Your flaws, rather than making you “less” of a person, are what make you who you are. What you think of as a defect actually makes you far more interesting to others….

You are not perfect. You make mistakes.
But you are also on a path of growth. Your mistakes and failures help you improve. As flawed as you may be, you must accept yourself, flaws and all, if you are to make progress in your life.


Almost nothing need be said when you have eyes..

i hate people don’t understand but they said they do.

Sometimes people don’t understand the promises they’re making when they make them. So ill be standing here and see the fact …. is it the real one or the same old song….

self priority


Lala is sharing her new draw on her fanpage, yes she talented as always. But this picture have a special meaning for me. There is many people around me, but not much who really mean to stay forever. I always know, in the end i have to deal with my own self and that i cant put my hope in somebody else. People is so easy come and go. And the answer of my own problem is easy to say , trying to colouring my own life and make my own self as priority. But still ,its big things to do tho 🙂

People come and go

People come into your life for a reason, a season, or a lifetime.

Instead of dwelling on the pain of saying goodbye to a friendship, look at it as a chapter that was filled with many memories and now lessons that will forever live with you. Sometimes we are welcomed by friendships that aren’t meant to last forever, but are meant to teach us and help us grow on our beautiful journeys.

On the contrary, sometimes we have to learn when to let go and continue on our journey. It takes courage to stand up and realize that sometimes you need to move forward. This doesn’t mean things have to end nasty, it just means that you are mature enough to see that these people may be holding you back in a way that at this moment in your life is not what you want.

holding anger 

Holding anger is a poison. It eats you from inside. We think that hating is a weapon that attacks the person who harmed us. But hatred is a curved blade. And the harm we do, we do to ourselves.


Yes im craving of pasta yesterday!  And finally i cook spaghetti for dinner so…, i dont think i would cook a noodles again today.  But im realize there is glass noodles who left in fridge, so since the packaging is opened, i think i have to cook it as our dinner… so yes this is the pictures from yesterday and today dinner that i shared on IG stories ☺️